All About Japan

This Toilet is Smarter than You

Movies Video Toilets Tokyo Greater Tokyo

Imagine a toilet so advanced that it responds to your request to raise the seat cover with, "I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave."

Presented by Cho Japan in association with the Pirates of Tokyo Bay, Tokyo's only bilingual improv comedy group, A.I. Toilet speculates on the fate of humanity when toilet technology finally goes too far.

This deadpan tale of terror stars Pirates veteran Bob Werley as Dave, the owner of a swanky new Tokyo pad fitted with the most advanced toilet ever made. Hitting the beats of every proper sci-fi thriller, Vinay Murthy's screenplay builds tension as each subsequent scene reveals just how completely our unsuspecting protagonist is surrounded by technological wizardry, slowly warping the mundane into the macabre. Everything seems fine until the morning Dave wakes after a night of heavy drinking to find his toilet—gasp!—utterly spotless.

As any visit to Toto's Tokyo Center Showroom will reveal, the self-cleaning, massage action and air blow drier are actually real, though we imagine the Wi-Fi, GPS, and ability to find a restaurant best suited to your bowel movements are still a few years off. But in a film centered around a red-eyed, HAL-style lavatory of death, we must fault the screenplay for a single point that's not true to Tokyo life: no apartment as nice as this one would allow a guest into the elevator without being buzzed in.